Sayonara - 10,000 days of life.

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you figure out why." 

~ Mark Twain

“I was lost all these years; but now I found my self”, moving to alternate pastures - so the blogging stops here. The response for any question remotely in line with the "Why quit the blog?" part shall be dealt in below segments.
Last time there was a piece of emptiness that filled in as I had quit blogging, and so I returned for a second stint that lasted much longer until now.
This post is part of proper goodbye, as I do not intend this space to be dangling without "the story ends here" sign (though I see the fact that, if I had passed away suddenly, this space would have been left dangling for sure).

People say good bye to various things as their life evolves, and I've decided to say a good bye to this blog which I had been using as a part of exercise to discover my identity - since the end of my college (way back in 2006), time offered some amazing experiences through these years to analyse, contemplate, mimic, ridicule, appreciate and be hypocritical about various things that flowed through my life in those 5 five years. And doing so had been a very interesting learning-curve. It had pushed me to constantly expand the boundaries of my knowledge, to seek answers for all and any question I had.

At one point I began investigating psychology(Freud, Carl Jung & Bernays), and any attempt to put my psyche to test didn't turn out very constructive. I could easily be classified to fit to many disorders and therefore psychology as subject lacked the insight to have a comprehensive oversight.

Moreover exploring the distant corners of my thoughts linked to the past or future frightened me by some of the dark experiences I encountered there. I ended up depressed by the pointlessness and sadness of the world. There was hope though, I became skeptical against all human inputs and interpretations of abstract and so called scientific results, a beginning, and had a long way to go. But I see that I then believed in something which defied locial empirical explanations - such grinding in my heart made me search for answers through the philosophy of science, mathematics, mind , language and religion.

What causes our consciousness, our awareness to be confined to a present? Understanding the why; what is the universe; what is matter; what is time and space; and why is it that way - what is reality. I had all these questions in mind, yet tried to drown them in my daily chores and sometimes worse - made mockery of my own questions (some of which amateurishly is reflected in my earliest blogposts). 

But there were some signs that were cracking the cage of my long-rusted heart and began polishing it through some unlikely sources.I was quite active on online forums pertaining to these topics, and somebody posted a link about the linguistic miracle of the Qur'an. I had known about them before, but always overlooked and had waved that off thinking it would probably be interpretation and make-belief. I decided to give a try and five minutes into that got me intrigued. Made me conclude that I should check Qur'an myself in its source language, rather than relying on translations, and the result I found it flawless. Not only did my attempts in finding flaws fell short, but I was also shocked by the profoundness, perfection and deepness of the words used. I was also intrigued by how the book felt psychologically custom made for the human mind and also garnished with signs which have been scientifically proven statements pertaining to fields of embryology, geology, space-science, origin of the universe, philosophy, knowledge and of course psychology .
In short, the book seemed like pure genius on every level and aspect. Made me conclude no way was this nothing more then a fraction of someone's imagination several centuries ago; as I had first thought simply because, such an explanation just doesn't add up.
Thus began a new journey of self-discovery through the portals of mathematics, mind, psyche and science, and Quran which are all actually 'sign-posts' towards Divine (i.e, Spirituality, Religion, and God)...

I have been through an evolution/metamorphosis of some sort during this blog-phase, and therefore now definitely - I neither represent the insane-blogger, nor the agnostic-anarchist who may be reflected in my earlier posts - I'm a changed man. I apologise for having said any wrong/intolerant/pride-filled/ignorant message through this media.  There are couple of blog-posts of my earlier times with which I could no longer identify myself, and few of them I detest and am ashamed of putting such meaningless narcissistic posts.

Today I've come a long way (infact the opposite direction) from there and shrugged-off those materialistic-wordlview for a Quranic-worldview, yet I realize I still have a lot to learn and a lot of details to fill in. But one moment(during the learning process) during this phase was like a light switch. Finally, because of which, I could at least see where I'm going as I'm looking for my path, finally I had a solid base to build upon.

I began as a seeker, evolved into a rebel & warrior against the self, and there has now come a phase where I have grown into hopefully a mature human who feels close to his purpose of existence and a greater sense of responsibility, and this blog did help me find that purpose to a great extent in the seeking process.

And as the clock has ticked 00:00 hours, this counts as my 10,000th day of life on earth - and God willing here's for another 10,000 days of life.

Well, life is too short to give explanations for things like departing. Just as 'death' is natural and integral part of existence. Imagine, the angel of death stole this account's credentials, the blog died today. It's over.

Wishing my beloved brothers, sisters & friends in humanity - a peaceful and meaningful life ahead.

If I could end with just a single advice:
"Be honest to yourself!"

The key to everything is the way you start. All beginnings are difficult, because you are trying to turn things from one direction to the opposite direction. But once a start has been made, you begin to get used to the direction you are going in and things are no longer so hard. The level of awe and devotion a person attains each day depends on the way he starts. Every day you should go backwards in the sense that you should always try and draw inspiration from the start, which was the hardest thing of all. You must always make a frest start.
-  Nachman of Breslov

May the Master of the Worlds help us all to have great beginnings and to use each beginning as a springboard to start over and over and over, and strive & struggle to keep ourslves on clear & straight path in our ibadah and abd of Malik al-Mulk.

~ Shukran Jazeelan.









-- A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist.
Stewart Alsop









P.S:   
The thoughts published here(since 2006) may or may not define my current or future perspectives/paradigms.
I would like to apologise to few individuals/groups openly through this note for not seeking permission to reuse their material, quotes, pictures etc. that were used in building this blog in the past. (you can't blame me, I was an anarchist then).
 

Eight Lessons in 27 years

As I am slowly moving towards the end of a journey (you may probably learn in next post - what's this journey), I would like to list down the important lessons that I learnt(learning) in my life through various incidents, experiences, sources, art, literature, philosophies, mysticism, psychology, science, abstractness, falsehood, deception, grief, hunger, illness, patriotism, rebellion, wealth, temptations, pride, arrogance, envy, ignorance, power, fear, culture, language, parents and my extended human, animal and plant families .. here's an attempt to paint them with images and quotes for you to reflect and agree or disagree ..
 
1. On Existence (On Ego & Soul)

“I can't believe, I'm simply not existing because it doesn't seem true, and I would just be lying to myself.“

"My soul is my guide, for my soul is of that abode

I will not speak of the earthly, I am of the unknown."

"I did not come here on my own accord, nor will I thus leave. 

He who brought me here, shall return me to my very own."

"The sun itself is proof the sun exists!

Seek your proofs, but don't turn your face from it."
 
"Do not ask, Where is God?
Rather ask, Where am I?"

"All day I think about it, then at night I say it. Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing? I have no idea. My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there."

"I am naught, He is all; there is no being but God's."

2. On Knowledge (On Intuition & Intellect)

“Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave”

"Given that true reality (haqiqat) is obscured by forms and appearances, as we have seen, an epistemological question is inevitable: how reliable are intellect and logic as a means of discovering and knowing the real? Can we humans reach certainty about our knowledge and our beliefs? "
 
"Knowledge that is acquired
is not like this.
Those who have it worry if
audiences like it or not.
It's a bait for popularity.
Disputational knowing wants customers.
It has no soul.

The only real customer is God.
Chew quietly
your sweet sugarcane God-Love, and stay
playfully childish.”

"Come, seek, for search is the foundation of fortune:
every success depends upon focusing the heart.Everything you possess of skill, and wealth and handicraft,
wasn't it first merely a thought and a quest?"

3. On Mistakes (On Lessons & Wisdom)

"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."

"Mistakes are the portals of discovery."

“Come follow me and you will find the way.
Your mistakes can also lead you to the Truth.
When you ask, the answer will be given.”

"The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue - so, the most important lessons lay not in what I needed to learn, but in what I first needed to unlearn."

"Who are the learned? Those who practice what they know."

4. On Evil (On Choice & Consequences)

"We stopped checking for monsters under our bed and we realized they were inside of us?"

"The lion who breaks the enemy's ranks
is a minor hero
compared to the lion who overcomes himself."

"Thou does not know evil till thou knowst good: (only) from (one) contrary is it possible to discern (the other) contrary, 0 youth!"

"All evil qualities—oppression, hatred, envy, greed, mercilessness, pride—when they are within yourself, they bring no pain. When you see them in another, then you shy away and feel the pain."

"God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly, not one."

“…whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. "


5. On Love (On Need & Greed)

"One should not confuse true love with the feeling felt for members of the opposite sex. Such love, although sometimes transformed into true love, is deficient, temporary, and has no inherent value unless he desireth for his neighbour that which he desireth for himself."

"And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it
would not fill this emptiness(greed)."

"You know what love is?
It is all kindness, generosity.
Disharmony prevails when
You confuse lust with love, while
The distance between the two
Is endless."

"The lover’s ailment is different from all ailments; Love is the astrolabe of God’s mysteries."


6. On Struggle (On Purpose & Goals) 

"The angel is saved by knowledge, The beast by brute ignorance;
Midway between and struggling Such a predicament is man's!"

“Verily never will God change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.”

"The intelligent desire self-control;
children want candy."

"Speak truth, even in the face of a tyrant."

"The most excellent Jihad is that for the conquest of self."


7. On Freedom (On Oppression & Responsibility)

"Knowing your enemy is winning half the battle"

"It doesn't mean that I advocate violence, but at the same time, I am not against using violence in self-defense. I don't call it violence when it's self-defense, I call it intelligence."

"Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change."

"The undisciplined person doesn’t wrong himself alone–
but sets fire to the whole world."

"Either way, change will come. It could be bloody, or it could be beautiful. It depends on us."

"Lawless are they that make their wills their law."

"If you do not feel ashamed of anything, then you can do whatever your desires want."


8. On Submission (On Liberation & Peace)

"The worldly comforts are not for me. I am like a traveler, who takes a rest under a tree in the shade and then goes on his way."

"Let God be the ruler over your hearts, not the duniya (world)"
 
"Do you want to enter paradise?
To walk the path of Truth
You need the grace of God.
We all face death in the end.
But on the way, be careful
Never to hurt a human heart!"

"People who attach their identity & happiness to things of the material, who are happy when their relationship is going good, or when their work is going good, or when their financial status is good, they will be among the losers. A submitter's happiness is attached to Divine. And the Divine is eternal, That is why a submitter always says 'I seek refuge in God' to whatever good or bad things that happen to them"

"Forgiveness is a creative act, a true gift, that changes us from prisoners of the past to liberated people at peace with our memories"

"True devotion is for itself:
not to desire heaven nor to fear hell."




~ "All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds."

The Self

The nafs is a sea of calm until it roars.

The nafs is a Hell that radiates little heat.

The nafs is an ankle-deep river you drown in.

Better to be ignorant of worldly concerns,

better to be mad and flee from self-interest,

better to drink poison and spill the water of life,

better to revile those who praise you,

and lend both the capital and the interest to

the poor, forgo safety and make a home in danger.

Sacrifice your reputation and become notorious.

I have tried caution and forethought;

from now on I will make myself mad.

- Mevlana Rumi

~  ".. I am both the candle and the moth crazy around it ..'"

10 years of smoking towers

"On September 11th our lives changed forever. We witnessed an act of aggression that in many ways does not have a parallel in past or present times. There are several elements that make this act unique, from the use of civilian planes as weapons of mass destruction to the attack on the most widely recognised skyscrapers in the world. Nor have we ever witnessed the terrible indictment of Islam as having a part to play in such a heinous crime .. "
~ Sheikh Hamza Yusuf 

I was in my living room, preparing for my school-exams, as I heard footsteps descending down the stairs rapidly, it was my neighbor's son - a student of 6th grade. There was something unusual with his tone, and he gasped and gave a direct command of some sort - "switch on the television!". 

The immediate thought was, probably some cricket match was on as this fella was an ardent sports fan.
I lazily moved and turned on the tube to receive a frame of smoke among the skyscrapers - the skyline looked familiar, I assumed - an earthquake probably, or was it some kind of air-crash accident .. two minutes into the content of the tube, a flash scrolled by - 'Terrorists attack on Twin-towers, estimated death-toll in hundreds'. Scores of questions fired in my brain, but apparently I wasn't thinking, it was like a mixed-mashedup-mind experiencing shock & confusion. I was in my high-school when it happened, what went down in history as the 9-11 attacks.

The next day the news focussed on the tragic events with an unbelieveable content,"Muslims are seen rejoicing in some parts of the world". This gave me a jolt much heavier than the tragedy itself. The thought in my mind was the people who died in the attacks are civilians - people with dreams, people like me - children, women, old-men and people living normal life.

In folowing days my imagination went too far when I assumed Muslims not to celebrate even their birthdays and anniversaries, if it fell on September 11^th. “We can’t have Muslims walking into bakeries and ordering cakes with big smiles on their faces or exchanging roses on this day shouting ‘Happy Anniversary!’ at restaurants,” explained my turbid-brain, “It would be highly suspicious and inhuman if Muslims appeared even remotely happy or laugh on this day and, as international citizens, I implore Muslims to appear sad on this day.”
And after all these turbidity it took me almost half-a-decade to learn that the media bias, mis-information and subtle-propaganda could hard-wire a normal human to associate two entirely different things and yet would convince himself/herself that they are one and the same. This idea sedimented so much into a average human that if "black" meant "color", then "Islam" meant "terrorism".

With so much confusion over 5 years, slowly made me drift into the world of agnosticism(ridiculous enough to be influenced by Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris), religion & belief became just tags for me, nothing more than a cultural stamping upon my identity, and this view-point grew upon me for over 5+ years and it was partly due to the following facts

1. I was ignorant of what my original faith represented or spoke about.
2. I believed whatever the Television suggested to be undeniable realities.

I was fortunate among many Muslims, who were also taken for a ride after such an event, during my agnosticism phase I was destined to meet and befriend a fellow Muslim - who took his faith seriously. What followed were series of conversations, and a period of enlightenment for my 'nafs'
I learnt that unfortunately, much of the world does not know what almost every Muslim who has studied Islam knows; that the worst enemies of Islam are from within. The worst of these are the khawaarij who delude others by the deeply dyed religious exterior that they project.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said about them, “When you see them pray you will consider your own prayers insignificant. They recite the Quran but it does not exceed the limits of their throat.”  In other words, they don’t understand the wisdom & true meanings. The outward religious appearance and character of the khawaarij deluded thousands in the past, and continues to delude people today. Every Common-Muslim should therefore be aware that despite the khawaarij adherence to certain aspects of Islam, they are extremists of the worst type. As Dr.Lang suggests,"Islam has the best religion and probably the worst believers"

The Prophet said, peace be upon him, “Beware of extremism in your religion.” 
Islam is the middle way between excess and neglect. Zealots are a plague upon religion. These extremists roughly come in two types.
The first group is a reactionary extremist who falls far right of a centre-point. Reactionary extremists do not want any pluralism; they view the world in melodramatic, black and white, good and evil terms. They are good and anyone who opposes them is evil. From among the Muslims these are people who ‘excommunicate’ any Muslim who fails to share their interpretations of the Quran. They are used often by the Western media in order to scare simple people and cause them to believe that Muslims are insane and barbaric. Unfortunately, some Muslim individuals and communities provide them with much fuel to fire their incendiary flames.

The second group are radical extremists, who while they are almost identical with the former group, differ in that they will use violence to further their cause. They are actually more dangerous & worse than the first. They believe like every nefarious secret society before them that ‘the end justifies the means.’ They see any act as acceptable if it will further their ‘cause.’ This is blatantly anti-Islamic for a number of reasons.
Then came the wave of conspiracy theories. These were not limited to the Islamic world - infact much of these theories are rooted with the individuals living in America and were actively voicing such diverging interpretations(propagated by people like Alex Jones, and scores of other such people) and, year by year they were becoming increasingly prevalent among Muslim communities, and some theory-makers went as far as claiming the the world is run by 'green aliens' in White-House, and many paranoid common-Muslims were sucked into these games and some of these paranoid-Muslims went to trigger their own 'X-Files type' interpretation of 'End Times Map', and it grew so popular that it forced few Muslim Scholars to study the series and provide their refutations.

The 9-11 incident though tragic became a poster-advertisemt for Islamophobia, there were series of events that triggered the  divide of 'Islam and West' - almost all the major geo-political events and incidents over the decade that followed, subtly-mapped into a Muslim-mind as suppression of Islam, and steadily becoming a victim of injustice: War on Afghanistan, War on Iraq, Cartoons Controversy, Minaret Ban, Adhan Ban, Niqab ban, Flotila incident, Abu Garib, Civilian Deaths, Depleted Uranium, Psycho-Soldiers, more Psychos, Ariel Sharon Incident, Gujarat riots, Quran burning, Profiling at Airports (the ex-President of India was also a target), and such.

As every coin has two-faces, on the flip-side 9-11 incidents also tried to balance the Muslim-minds by giving them an opportunity to bridge the gaps, prejudices and misconceptions - Scholars, Intellectuals and Common-men alike came forward to the break the stereotypes, and therefore it led to a domino-effect of different kind: Rejection of extremism by scholors, condemnation of the 911 incident, and as bridges were built it surprisingly led to growth of Islam in the West, and more surprisingly among western-women. 

This was followed by waves of Young Muslims coming forward to dismantle the "Angry-Muslim" caricature built by news-media and popular-movies , and helped by young generation of scholars, converts, and preachers like: Hamza Yusuf, Nouman Ali Khan, Ali Ardekani, Idris Tawfiq, Jeffrey Lang, Eddie, Hamza Tzortzis, Adam Deen, Suhaib Webb, Peter Casey, Rageh Omaar and such, were also balanced by wisdom and patience through a number of experienced Muslims in similar/same fields.

Thanks to technology and internet - forums like social-networking sites, campaigns and discussion-rooms opened up possibilites for Muslims to express themselves - and suddenly these initiatives were complemented with popular Muslims coming to spotlight: Muslim Comedians, Oscar-winners, Pop-stars, Journalists, Peaceful-Revolutionaries(aka Twitter revolutionaries), Athletes, and even Muslim animals, mountains, and planets coming into visiblity on the world-stage, and the biggest of them we nearly had a Muslim President in White-House!:)
Though the final one was a disappointment.. yet, we had Tony Blair's sister-in-law, Lauren Booth choosing Islam, and Islam is now counted to be growing popular among Russians, South Americans, Australian-Aborigines and Chinese based on many independent yet, converging reports.

Well, what does all these little details & unrelated things about demographics, statistics and projections have to say to me? - personally, I have learnt that: Islam is not a blind and barbaric faith defined by a minute fraction of violent individuals, neither is the Prophet, peace be upon him, a liar nor a mad-man, and logically could not be both - as many individuals like Daniel Pipes, Pamela Geller, Geert Wilders, Alisina, Sam Shamoun, Robert Spencer, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Walid Shoebat, Nonie Darwish, Wafa Sultan, and Terry Jones (loosely put the neocons) would say, and also work hard to propagate the idea openly/sublimally that 'Islam is of the evil'.
This post is kind of a 'thank you note' to my fellow Muslim friend who guided me out of agnosticism - by engaging me in discussions and how... reason, rationality, spirituality, science, God and religion are not conflicting spheres, and also thanking Dr.Lang for his wonderful book 'Struggling to surrender',that helped to open up my heart for Islam to enter again.
And by some coincidence about 2 years ago, I was introduced to an amazing bunch of individuals under a forum on facebook - who in my opinion are the 'centre of wisdom' on facebook, though not a strictly theistic forum -  it definitely is an oasis in 'desert of materialism',and I came to know there are plans for launching a web-page based on the group's discussions, posts and paradigms (would share the link here once the project is online).

Coming back to this blog-post, it wasn't all good though - we had Israel & Iran getting locked into an escalating battle of ego, and Iran's envious neighbor Saudi approving Israel's use of their Air-space for possible air-raids on Iran. Afghan tribal Muslim cutting off his wife's nose, Female circumcision among some Muslim in North Africa, Sectarian conflicts in Pakistan, Apostacy arrests, Rebel uprisings and attacks on NATO+US in Afghanistan & Iraq, the usual EDL vs Muslims clashes, Islamophobia still evident in Europe & USA, Dawkins gang suggesting that Muslims are delusional-beings, and Subramanian Swami suggesting to revoke voting rights of all Indian Muslims and more..  - but I'm happy emphasising the positives, things like these (link) and these (link) that there have been efforts by people from both camps to reach out to common-terms, be compassionate and most importantly be Insaan(human). 

(P.S: Only those individuals who are striving to live by the spirit of Islam as a 'way of life' are referenced as the popular Muslims above. Hence the list didn't include the likes of Kasab, Salman Rushdie, Lockerbie/Underwear bombers, and such - on expected lines weren't advertised)

~ “Knowledge exists potentially in the human soul like the seed in the soil; by learning the potential becomes actual.”
― Imam Al-Ghazali