Disclaimer: This post is purely a work of fiction, and resemblance to any Insane living or dead is co-incidental .
“The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.” I agree with the second part. - Ernest Miller Hemingway
Life was always sucking out 'Sanity' from my mind and its rate had doubled ever since i landed in Bangalore.
Act-I
Time: 26th July 2006
Location: ChikAdugodi, 7th Cross, Madivala.
Mission: Hunting for a room
Scene Members: A Couple of my college mates,and House Agent.
After two day sessions and all that sick process of getting into an Insanely Accepted and Socially Respected "IT Industry", time was being wasted to hunt down a room.
I had never stayed away from home, particularly not for a longer period. Luckily my first job posting was just a 5 hours drive for my Home.
We Finally settled down for a house, it was crappy, dull and had a moist smell. But that's what you get for a monthly rental of 5000 bucks sharing with 5 other lunatics.
The House-owner was a middle aged lady, and had three children and a Messy dog - who could lick anything ( I would have blow-ed that animal apart if i had a shot gun - thanks to Serious Sam ) we heard that she was married but we never in our stay got to meet her husband.
We had to pay the broker 2500 bucks or so for that Animal-Farm.
I was in a really bad mental state living there - may be because, i am now considered to be a grown up man, and also have morphed into a money churning machine in society's view - i hated my part there, i failed a couple of Training Exams and barely made it through to get into a project. Partly because, I just hated Myself for landing myself in an occupation - that didn't interested or challenged me.
The Manager was a Total Sucker and i was not at all inclined toward my occupation in my 18 months of working period at Electronics City, Bangalore.
I also happened to get in touch with a bunch of losers - who dreamed of landing USofA the very next day they were let into a project.
The House owner was getting increasingly bossy - the other part - i was never able to figure out what i was working on, in for my whole stay at the first company.
Meanwhile we moved out in to a house located nearer to my office, Bangalore-100.
Act-II
Time: 12th December 2007
Location: Mahadevpura,Whitefield Road.
Baseline: Looking for a new job.
Scene Members: Few people waiting at the bus-stop.
I was increasingly getting frustrated with my term at the current company, I had a couple of emotional outbursts with my seniors there - I knew that it would finally screw-up my performance evaluation. I had applied for a transfer to Chennai, which was a nasty drama - moved to Chennai - after which i was thrown back to the office at same old location --> Bangalore-100.
I wanted to Quit my current Organization.
And here i was in front of one of the most admired Software Organization in the world, waiting for my interviewer to call me in. I was seated near a Peepal tree ( It can uptake CO{-2} during the night as well with its their ability to perform a type of photosynthesis called Crassulacean Acid Metabolism, -- Also I believe it was the same type of tree under which Gauthama Buddha was enlightened )
I was selected after a brief interview - which i didn't do quite well technically, but my attitude played a supporting part there.
And now One Year since i have joined this World renowned Organization, but i still feel nothing has changed much - except for a big pocket to hold larger amount of salary.
A lot of stuff happened, in this period
- Had read through completely about a half-a-dozen books and dropped a score of them in mid-way .
- Watched some 70 movies ( DVDs, TV or Screen )
- Fluctuating interest in T20 and EPL. ( Sometimes i watched them and sometimes i didn't )
- Added 15 KGs to my body-frame and started looking like an Ultimate Loser.
- Got a new Sony Ericsson Mobile ( Tried being a Cybershot Addict - Clicking anything and everything )
- Got a second hand bike, also had a recent accident which left a person injured enough not to work for atleast a month.I had to change my mobile number after that incident.
- Tried to create a charity group with my So Called Friends or whatever, which i feel is eventually failing to hold itself.
- With the increasing chaos in the job market,and the international debt-cycle: Banks Crashing out, Auto sales down, companies bankrupt, jobs slashed,oil barrel doing a roller coaster, more job cuts, pay cuts, and S-H-I-T..!!
Sometimes makes me wonder - i am not having a life at all. I am just doing all this because it would make my parents and the society feel - i am responsible guy !!
But the insanely worse thing is - I don't really know what i must be doing..!
Money doesn't interests me - Girls (Nah..!!) - My mom is exponentially getting aggressive in getting me a bride by every week passing.
I am right now living at the same old location " Bangalore-100", May be i waited for "something to happen to me, by itself - like a miracle" - that would try to give me a direction or path to take upon or atleast improve my condition.
But i am learning that "You can waste a lot of time waiting for others to act for you."
Theology - God - Blog - Society - Money - Books - Orkut - Family - Friends - Girls - Religion - Politics - Art - Occupation - Reality Shows(Which are so dramatic and unreal..!) - Music - almost everything seems to be disconnected from me - I am floating in a Dark darK space with nothing to hold on to, nothing in sight, nothing to think : sometimes i was forced into believing that i don't even exist.
One of my school guy, who too worked at my old office, had quit the job to take up something he liked ( or may be he thinks that he likes it ) - Travel and Writing.
Things around me just don't make me happy anymore - i just Act to be happy - Act to laugh - Act to be working - Act to be.. What not..!!
May be i am a naturally successful, or i am impossibly lucky (or unlucky !) to have been born (Fighting away more than a million probabilities of a different child - who would have been my brother or sister - I would have been happier to have lost the race - But the Mad flagella wagged itself to reach - You know.. ) and reach this So called Great Position. which the society acknowledges " It points at me - Look out there is the Software Engineer, Do you know his package??--40K!!, He is a hard working and studious guy, Learn from him". DAMN the society and Damn Life.
I am just a coward, drained and yellow - lost and with nothing to interest me. But still that does leaves me an option of becoming a Aghori Sadhu, But my problem doesn't end there - I simply don't want to Exist in this Bullshit world of Money, Lust, Religion, Divide, Borders, Envy, Sloth, Hunger, Gluttony, Greed, War, Guilt, Pride, Wrath, Hate, Immorality, Disease,and Racism.
I am sending out a message to the Aliens " Please Abduct Me..!!, i am ready to be your Lab Mouse"
~ Hey you guys out there - Insanely, the sickest post ever ? : Whoa don't breathe - i have loads more.
