"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you figure out why."
~ Mark Twain
“I was lost all these years; but now I found my self”, moving to alternate pastures - so the blogging stops here. The response for any question remotely in line with the "Why quit the blog?" part shall be dealt in below segments.
Last time there was a piece of emptiness that filled in as I had quit blogging, and so I returned for a second stint that lasted much longer until now.
This post is part of proper goodbye, as I do not intend this space to be dangling without "the story ends here" sign (though I see the fact that, if I had passed away suddenly, this space would have been left dangling for sure).
People say good bye to various things as their life evolves, and I've decided to say a good bye to this blog which I had been using as a part of exercise to discover my identity - since the end of my college (way back in 2006), time offered some amazing experiences through these years to analyse, contemplate, mimic, ridicule, appreciate and be hypocritical about various things that flowed through my life in those 5 five years. And doing so had been a very interesting learning-curve. It had pushed me to constantly expand the boundaries of my knowledge, to seek answers for all and any question I had.
At one point I began investigating psychology(Freud, Carl Jung & Bernays), and any attempt to put my psyche to test didn't turn out very constructive. I could easily be classified to fit to many disorders and therefore psychology as subject lacked the insight to have a comprehensive oversight.
Moreover exploring the distant corners of my thoughts linked to the past or future frightened me by some of the dark experiences I encountered there. I ended up depressed by the pointlessness and sadness of the world. There was hope though, I became skeptical against all human inputs and interpretations of abstract and so called scientific results, a beginning, and had a long way to go. But I see that I then believed in something which defied locial empirical explanations - such grinding in my heart made me search for answers through the philosophy of science, mathematics, mind , language and religion.
What causes our consciousness, our awareness to be confined to a present? Understanding the why; what is the universe; what is matter; what is time and space; and why is it that way - what is reality. I had all these questions in mind, yet tried to drown them in my daily chores and sometimes worse - made mockery of my own questions (some of which amateurishly is reflected in my earliest blogposts).
But there were some signs that were cracking the cage of my long-rusted heart and began polishing it through some unlikely sources.I was quite active on online forums pertaining to these topics, and somebody posted a link about the linguistic miracle of the Qur'an. I had known about them before, but always overlooked and had waved that off thinking it would probably be interpretation and make-belief. I decided to give a try and five minutes into that got me intrigued. Made me conclude that I should check Qur'an myself in its source language, rather than relying on translations, and the result I found it flawless. Not only did my attempts in finding flaws fell short, but I was also shocked by the profoundness, perfection and deepness of the words used. I was also intrigued by how the book felt psychologically custom made for the human mind and also garnished with signs which have been scientifically proven statements pertaining to fields of embryology, geology, space-science, origin of the universe, philosophy, knowledge and of course psychology .
In short, the book seemed like pure genius on every level and aspect. Made me conclude no way was this nothing more then a fraction of someone's imagination several centuries ago; as I had first thought simply because, such an explanation just doesn't add up.
Thus began a new journey of self-discovery through the portals of mathematics, mind, psyche and science, and Quran which are all actually 'sign-posts' towards Divine (i.e, Spirituality, Religion, and God)...
I have been through an evolution/metamorphosis of some sort during this blog-phase, and therefore now definitely - I neither represent the insane-blogger, nor the agnostic-anarchist who may be reflected in my earlier posts - I'm a changed man. I apologise for having said any wrong/intolerant/pride-filled/ignorant message through this media. There are couple of blog-posts of my earlier times with which I could no longer identify myself, and few of them I detest and am ashamed of putting such meaningless narcissistic posts.
Today I've come a long way (infact the opposite direction) from there and shrugged-off those materialistic-wordlview for a Quranic-worldview, yet I realize I still have a lot to learn and a lot of details to fill in. But one moment(during the learning process) during this phase was like a light switch. Finally, because of which, I could at least see where I'm going as I'm looking for my path, finally I had a solid base to build upon.
I began as a seeker, evolved into a rebel & warrior against the self, and there has now come a phase where I have grown into hopefully a mature human who feels close to his purpose of existence and a greater sense of responsibility, and this blog did help me find that purpose to a great extent in the seeking process.
And as the clock has ticked 00:00 hours, this counts as my 10,000th day of life on earth - and God willing here's for another 10,000 days of life.
Well, life is too short to give explanations for things like departing. Just as 'death' is natural and integral part of existence. Imagine, the angel of death stole this account's credentials, the blog died today. It's over.
Wishing my beloved brothers, sisters & friends in humanity - a peaceful and meaningful life ahead.
If I could end with just a single advice:
"Be honest to yourself!"
Nachman of Breslov
~ Shukran Jazeelan.
-- A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist.
Stewart Alsop
P.S:
The thoughts published here(since 2006) may or may not define my current or future perspectives/paradigms.
I would like to apologise to few individuals/groups openly through this note for not seeking permission to reuse their material, quotes, pictures etc. that were used in building this blog in the past. (you can't blame me, I was an anarchist then).
